Letter from an early Soul Creativity student

Acceptance of Self and Doing Things My Way
Lizzie S

December 2002

The following letter, which we have edited slightly, is published because it is such an excellent illustration of how one woman discovered the central concept of genuine soul work: the fact that one's own soul and  creative process is unique.

"Well, in truth a lot has been happening to me and mine. Lots of resistance to life and the Siramarti work, to getting my counseling business up and going, and my personal relationships have been in turmoil, I thought that I was over this, but may be just maybe I hadn't quite got it!

There are many things in this great wide world that we have at our disposal if only we reach out and grab them. And take them I must. But in taking them I have failed to incorporate them Lizzie Style. The world offers all types of experience and hidden in all are teachings, insight and love, the hardest part of that statement knows that the love aspect is how I internalize the experience.

By looking honestly at how my life is right now, I realized that I was overlooking an important and necessary ingredient to Siramarti, knowing the teachings as mine and interpreting in my own unique way to love, nurture, expand, complete and integrate all the various parts of me. I have been talking extensively to my soul lately and, boy, did it have a lot to say. Funny thing is it always has, I've just not been listening.

Recently I hit rock bottom, the world and all that I hold precious appeared to be falling no crashing around me. Owning that statement has been hard. But it was the very thing that I needed to do. I am guilty of saying one thing and believing, feeling and thinking another. This is in its simplicity the formula for my lack of self-love. In essence I AM NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF.

Connecting with my soul has been a journey that has taken in many to faces but the most valuable connection I have made is recognizing that my personality and behavioural traits act very differently to the way my essence and vibration resonates.

This discovery was as a direct result of my readiness and using the visualizations on "disentanglement" and "soul nourishment". At my core there is the categorical belief that I am perfect. In my persona there is the need to convince everybody of this so that I can believe it. A tough message and it has very many lumps. This insight and shift in my being came as a result of recognizing that if I am to integrate anything of the teachings of Siramarti there is a need for me to be willing to be vulnerable. For in my vulnerability lies my greatest strength, my truth.

To combat my formula for a lack of self-love I have realized that I need to stay connected. My soul allows me richness, ability to process and act in a way that is inspirational, I have clarity and purpose, and a clear definition of who and what I want and need to succeed and above all there is emotional honesty. Accepting my emotions as a great part of who I am has been a long-standing difficulty. You see I was "always too emotional." Acknowledging and accepting all aspects of self was the toughest nut to swallow.

Yet I haven't choked. For me to be integrated I needed to acknowledge that I am human in a human world, spirit in a spiritual world or is it that I am human in a spiritual world? I don't know where I heard this but I think that it rings true. I am all of these and yet at any time, I only have a barometer of recognizing in which domain I am in, and the best thing about all of this is that it feels very real.

All that has gone before me is necessary to get here, and I am now truly grateful for the experience, I mean truly grateful. The next part of my journey is that of implementing strategies that enhance my self-worth and allow me to freely express with genuine commitment to myself in following my passion, and that my dear Suzie is creativity. My ability to use words, to stand and speak, to connect with my heart and thus others, my enjoyment of the arts, music and my love for the theatrics will all serve me well. I feel blessed that I know can get to work. For I now belong to a bigger picture, the whole picture, MY PICTURE.

It's not about what Suzie says, it's about what I say. It's all about me. Which bit, which way, which life I want. There are many things on offer I get the right to have all the best bits. It makes my knees go weak.

Reply:

Hi Lizzie,

Well you really have got it! And isn't it wonderful that you don't have to think of me, Fiona, our guides or any one else as "knowing better." I bet your negative ego looks profoundly deflated. BTW You are actually a spirit in a human world.